G-Spot Questions Answered

To Pee or Not to Pee
Since the physical act of female urination is so similar to female ejaculation many women have found erotic enjoyment in urinating during sex, solo and with a partner. Women seeking to learn to ejaculate may find themselves squirting liquid from their bladder rather ejaculating fluid from their prostate. This is because both urination and ejaculation require a woman to be able to surrender control and relax during orgasm. If you keep your bladder sphincter closed and tighten your pelvic muscles you cannot release liquid from your bladder or ejaculate. Women seeking to ejaculate are advised to push out when the urge to urinate or ejaculate comes over them at the point of orgasm. Doing this gives your body permission to ejaculate, but it also gives your body permission to release fluid from your bladder. You have no control over which occurs. You will just be aware of the intense physical sensations that occur. The sensations of both may be pleasant and indistinguishable. Hence learning to release liquid from your bladder at the point of orgasm may help a woman learn to ejaculate.

Learning to release liquid from your bladder at the point of orgasm is likely to be easier when alone than when a partner is present. You will probably find it easier to relax, and you wont be as concerned about the resulting wetness. Doing this in the bathtub has some advantages. First you do not have to worry about the wetness, second soaking in warm water will help relax you, and third cleanup is a snap. Drink a couple glasses of water a short while before starting; allow your bladder to fill. It does not need to feel full, but you do not want it to be empty either. Lie back in the tub, or lay on several towels on your bed. Start to masturbate. Caress your clitoris. Slipping your fingers or a dildo into your vagina may feel nice. You do not need to necessarily move them back and forth inside your vagina only provide a feeling of pressure inside your vagina. Allow the sexual buildup to occur slowly. Practice tightening and relaxing your pelvic muscles, commonly called Kegel exercises.

Think about the act of urinating, of letting go. Allowing your bladder to fill will result in you feeling the need to urinate. The closer you are to the point of orgasm the stronger the urge to empty your bladder is likely to become. Hold back on your orgasm until you feel you cannot hold the contents of your bladder a second longer. At the point of orgasm press out and relax your pelvic muscles, welcome the feeling of the liquid escaping from your bladder. The stronger the force behind the liquid, the greater the sensations are likely to be. So push and try to squirt liquid from your bladder. It takes practice to be able to let go spontaneously, since you have been conditioned to maintain strict control over your urination habits. It may also help to vocalize the release, make some noise. Intentionally crying out will help with the release. Scream "YES."

Learning to Ejaculate
Moving on to ejaculation only requires a couple slight changes in technique. Empty your bladder first; you will want to let go without a full bladder producing the pressure or urge. The urge should still develop, just not be the result of a full bladder. The urge to ejaculate may not occur without there being stimulation of your prostate or urethra. This is likely to require the use of a dildo if you are alone. As you massage your clitoris, using your fingers or a dildo stimulate your urethra by massaging the top of your vagina; using only light pressure at first. Massage the full length of your urethra, from the opening of your vagina back into your vagina a couple inches. Keep up the clitoral massage. Try different pressures and strokes. Massaging the urethral meatus may feel pleasant. Stimulating your urethra may cause you to feel the need to release liquid from your bladder and this is desired. Do not fight the urge, go with the flow, literally. Relax and breathe deeply.

If you find a spot that is highly sensitive you may want to concentrate solely on it, but you may find it is too sensitive to stimulate directly. If your G-Spot is highly sensitive you may find you are only able to tolerate its stimulation when you are very close to orgasm, when your pain threshold has increased. Keep massaging your clitoris and urethra. Continue to the point of orgasm. A slow build up with lots of teasing may help produce the greatest urge and strongest orgasm. When orgasm occurs relax your bladder and press out as if urinating. If you ejaculate you will likely feel a new and strong sensation, if not, you will still experience a strong orgasm, so nothing is lost. You may not be aware of any increased wetness until after the orgasm has subsided. Being able to ejaculate may take practice even if you are able to squirt liquid from your bladder during orgasm. It is not known whether all women can ejaculate so you just have to experiment. In any event it should be a pleasurable experience.

Stimulation by a Partner
A woman's partner can bring her to an orgasm that includes ejaculation. If a woman already knows she is capable of ejaculating she should let her partner know, not pray that it will not happen again. She should discuss the increased wetness that occurs with her partner; at least prepare them for it. Hopefully they will see your ejaculations as desirable and erotic. If they do not, reeducating them about female fluids and ejaculation may persuade them to at least accept the ejaculations as normal even if they do not like the associated wetness.

There is perhaps one big advantage to having a partner stimulate you to orgasm when you are trying to ejaculate, that is because they will not stop the stimulation unless you tell them too. If you are masturbating and you start to feel uncomfortable, out of control, you will likely stop immediately. This could prevent you from experiencing orgasm and ejaculation. With a partner you can agree beforehand that they will not stop, even if you say, "stop." (Doing this requires using a "safe word" that indicates, "Stop!" for real. This is a word you are not likely to say accidentally during sex, without thinking about it.) If you find you pull away you can ask that they hold or follow you so you cannot move away from the stimulation. Of course you should only do these things if you really trust your partner, as they need to be forceful without going to far.

How do you stimulate your partner's prostate? Your hands are excellent tools to use. The best way to stimulate the inside of their vagina, along the upper wall, is to create a hook with your index finger. Imagine you want to signal to someone standing across the room that you want them to come toward you. You turn your hand palm up and signal with your index finger by making a hook, curling it up and straightening it repeatedly. You can do the same thing with two fingers inside the vagina. Massaging the upper wall of the vagina, from the opening back inside two inches. Start out with a very light touch. Press your fingers up and toward the front, pointing toward the pubic bone, or clitoris. Use the urethral opening as a guide. Use a generous amount of lubrication even if she is dripping wet.

Start out by getting her aroused with manual and/or oral clitoral stimulation. Continue the clitoral stimulation as you massage her prostate. Ask your partner if there is a specific spot or area that produces intense or enjoyable sensations when you massage it, her G-Spot. As you sense her getting closer to orgasm apply a firmer touch, if she enjoys it. Maintain a constant and steady rhythm. Follow through, continue the massage up through her orgasm. Then switch to a very light caressing touch as she comes down from her orgasm. If she experiences multiple orgasms her orgasms and ejaculations may become more intense, and the amount of ejaculation may increase. If she orgasms with your fingers inside her vagina her vaginal muscles may squeeze them very tightly, do not pull out but rather press in gently.

You can also stimulate your partner to ejaculation using a dildo. This requires more verbal communication, as you cannot feel exactly what the dildo is doing. She needs to let you know what feels good, or bad. Some women may like for the tip of the dildo to be pointed at their urethra, others may prefer a full feeling. The stretching and pressure created by large dildos or an entire hand may stimulate the urethra enough to cause an ejaculation even if that is not the intent.

A woman may also ejaculate during intercourse, with a penis or a dildo in a harness. What seems to work the best are positions that result in the penis or dildo stimulating the upper wall of the vagina. Like when a woman's partner kneels between her knees when she is on her hands and knees, or when she is on top controlling the direction and force of the thrusting. Some women may ejaculate during intercourse without even trying, while others may find it a challenge. It is more likely if she already ejaculates frequently during manual massage. Practice makes perfect.

Prostate Massage
For Men and Women

Men and women have a prostate gland, and both can be stimulated through manual massage, using fingers and other devices. The male prostate is a walnut sized organ located at the base of the bladder whereas the female prostate is a collection of ducts and glands that surround their urethra, and as stated above, both produce prostatic fluid. The male prostate is primarily accessible through the anus, but the female prostate is accessible through the anus, vagina, and in some cases the vestibule.

Prostate massage is basically the same for men and women. Prostate massage may result in the spontaneous release of fluid from the male and female prostate. A medical article mentions that in addition to the spontaneous release of fluid, "palpation" results in the release of fluid from the prostate of some women, meaning orgasm isn't required to produce this result. The resources linked to below describe prostate massage for men, but the principles described work equally well for women. Perhaps if men are used as a reference, the female prostate and its stimulation will be more intuitive, as the existence of the male prostate isn't questioned, and is a more concrete concept for us all.

Couples may want to explore both male and female prostate massage, as then each can relate to some of the sensations experienced by the other, and perhaps as a result, learn better technique; what is appropriate and what isn't. The article about Anal Sex will assist couples choosing to do this.