Aries Mar 21-Apr 19
Solo: With Venus entering your 11th House of friends on the 8th, and joining Neptune there, this month you could see the induction into your crowd of somebody who’s actually pretty easy on the eyes. Not that the friends you have now aren’t attractive, per se, but they’re all just… you know. You’re used to them. You’ve seen them being so disgusting that in your eyes they’ll never come back around to potentially dateable. Before you call dibs on this new person and start pursuing them with the strength of a thousand lemmings running towards the cliff, make sure you get to know them a little bit and determine for certain that they’re really available to you. It is very embarrassing to build up a friendly but superficial rapport with someone for a long time and then finally make your move, only to have them awkwardly and ambiguously tell you that it really isn’t a good idea, only for you to keep pushing back, and then months later find out that they don’t actually like your gender. That shouldn’t happen to you. But by all means, don’t alienate yourself from them- you never know who they know, and even if they don’t think you’re their cup of tea, they might know someone else who’s just perfect.
Duo+: Pluto has just joined Jupiter in your 10th House of the public eye, and you might notice a significant shift in the levels of interest in your status. Whatever dynamics you’re experiencing between you two, you should be aware that if you’re trying to keep it a secret, it’s not working. People are just like Santa Claus this month- they see you when you’re sleeping. They know when you’re awake. They can tell if you’re getting more serious. They can tell if you’ve been fighting. You’re subconsciously wearing a lot of your passions and emotions on your sleeve this month, which can open you up to a lot of outside meddling and input from people that you don’t really want to hear. Be mindful of what you’re doing and saying outside the privacy of your own space, and take a keener interest than you normally have in how to keep yourself well protected from unfounded attacks. If someone does say something to you that’s out of line, and tries to defend themselves with, “Well, I mean, it’s totally obvious,” simply tell them that while they might be right, it’s your and your partner’s prerogative and yours alone to take care of it, and that they have their own problems to deal with. Then, if there’s something to take care of, go to it. If not, feel free to show the world as much as you see fit.Hot Spots: 8th, 16th, 20th, 25th
Taurus Apr 20-May 20
Solo: You should be feeling good this month- Venus, your ruling planet, enters your 10th House on the 8th, which doubles your powers of attraction. Whether or not you’re actively trying to impress anybody right now, chances are you will be, in more ways than you even realize, and more people too. If you are trying to impress somebody, Ceres in your 5th House of pleasure has you feeling extremely tender towards them, trying to win their heart by taking care of them, which is fine- as long as you can be sure that they’re a) seeing your true intentions behind the attention and b) not just in it for the attention. The point is to be attracted to you, not just what they think you can do for them! Fortunately, Saturn is there too, and will help you from being too taken in by any of that sort of bad behavior. Saturn will be going retrograde, also in your 5th House, on New Year’s Eve, giving you a chance to reevaluate and reconsider some of the criteria you’ve set down for what you want in a lover. So as you’re making your New Year’s resolutions, review the past year and make note of who worked for you, who didn’t, and why and modify accordingly.
Duo+: Chances are you’ll be able to open up a good conversation this month about something that you’ve always wanted to try but were too afraid to ask, and the odds of actually doing it are pretty good. But Taurus is the most fixed and the most stubborn of all the signs, and you would never just rush into something without knowing what it was really all about. By all means have the conversation and bring your hidden desire out in the open so that you both know it’s there. Now your task is to research it and learn about it. If the thing you want to try out is something that your partner is amenable to as well, both of you should go on an independent quest to find out as much as you can about it. But don’t just stop at a basic level- if you read a book, scan that book’s bibliography and find another book, and another, and do the same thing after you’ve read those. Don’t just look for how-to guides- try fiction dealing with the same subject as well, and look for historical references too. The more you learn, the more you can determine the source of the appeal, and find more creative ways to integrate it into what you already do. When you’re done, pool your research. I’m pretty sure you’ll have a lot to talk about. Hot Spots: 1st, 10th, 18th, 27th
Gemini May 21-Jun 20
Solo: You’re feeling a little sensitive this month, and despite your efforts to keep yourself safeguarded, you might feel like there’s an onslaught of unexpected attacks coming at you from all directions. Don’t let it get you down too bad- Gemini is one of the most anxious of all the signs, and if you were to let every little thing affect you, you’d never leave the house- or the sanitized climate-controlled pod, like Julianne Moore in Safe. Believe it or not, there is a way to modulate your sensitivity so that it’s actually kind of sweet and fetching, and not conspiracy-theorist paranoid. (Although I know for a fact there are some people who find conspiracy-theorist paranoid attractive, I can assure you that they’re not anyone you’d really want to be with. Trust me.) If you set yourself a little barometer of what you will tolerate, with “this is actually kind of funny” because the lowest marker and “has crossed a serious line” as the highest marker, you’ll be less high-strung and able to put what you perceive as insults in perspective with the situation. You never know- maybe the person talking to you isn’t a native English speaker, and in their country what they said is considered a compliment. (It could happen, especially with Venus going into your 9th House.) Context is everything, Gemini- stay a while and check out the context.
Duo+: Your 8th House is super-full for the better part of the month, which makes everything seem a little bit darker, a little bit edgier, and a little bit esoteric, if I may use that word. While Gemini’s are not known for being the most spiritual beings in the world (you’ve never met a life path you couldn’t make fun of), a foray into the world beyond ours might actually do more good than harm, as it will calm you down a bit and curtail your short-sightedness, connecting you to something beyond what’s right in front of you. Mercury, Gemini’s winged-footed ruler, was in Greek and Roman mythology the only god who had the power to cross worlds- he could travel to earth, Olympus the Heavens, and to the Underworld and remain totally unscathed. No other god could do that. Similarly, the Gemini, as tongue-in-cheek as you can be, can gain a lot from integrating their sex life with some meditative techniques. There are entire libraries of books written on the subject of spiritual sex, which I urge you to investigate. They could offer some fascinating insights on how to clear your mind and become more self-aware- and all while spending time with your partner and without having to pull an extra hour out of your crazy day to sit down and meditate. Talk about effective multi-tasking.
Hot Spots: 3rd, 8th, 11th, 20th, 25th
Cancer Jun 21-Jul 22
Solo: Venus is really on your side this month- she begins in your 7th House of relationships with Jupiter, which promises tons of potential for a very special someone (or more than one very special someone) to come your way. But don’t be impatient if it doesn’t happen right away- Venus goes into your 8th House on the 8th, joining Neptune there, which adds a darker slant to her normally light and happy cast. It’s all still good, though, as it gives your own mojo a shade of edgy intensity that your sweet and loving nature doesn’t always reveal- and reciprocally, Venus and Neptune can lighten up and make approachable the dark matter that normally scares us. For the best illustration of that dynamic, think of a sexy vampire- despite knowing full well that she could drain you of all your blood, you still want to get close. This will serve you well in attracting someone who can appreciate the full scope of your complex and interesting sexuality. So sharpen your teeth.
Duo+: Pluto, Lord of Underworlds both public and private sector, has just come into your 7th House of Relationships, which isn’t necessarily as bad of a thing as it sounds. In astrology, as in most occult sciences, anything having to do with death is really just a metaphor for a cycle of transformation- more of a symbolic death of the old way you used to be and growth into a new, more enlightened way. That’s exactly what you can look forward to in your relationship for the next little while, which could be just the thing you need, as Cancers tend to get a little too comfortable in the situations they’re in and resist change, even if they’re bad. The major changes won’t materialize right away, but this month you will see a lot of little adjustments being made. As Mercury enters your 7th House and stays there for the entire month, you’ll find that your communication is key. If you’re able to be open and straightforward with each other instead of talking in circles or speaking in euphemisms, you’re sure to cut a lot faster to the good parts. And as the Sun and Mars enter the 7th House in the same week towards the end of the month, you’ll find yourself feeling unusually passionate towards each other. Maybe it’s all that mistletoe everywhere or something. Either way, it’s an optimistic new start to the year ahead, so embrace the changes and see where they take you.
Hot Spots: 1st, 5th, 14th, 22nd, 28th
Leo Jul 23-Aug 22
Solo: Anyone who is lucky enough to team up with you this month is going to think they died and went to Ho Heaven. Your 5th House of sex is charged up for most of the month with the Sun, Mercury and Mars- all of which are quite virile energies. You might even surprise yourself by how much energy you actually have, and you should save it up for someone who can match it. And interestingly enough, Venus and Neptune will be in your 7th House of relationships, which is the equivalent of hanging up gauzy pink and red curtains and Christmas lights and putting red light bulbs in all the lamps- and are more feminine energies. You see what an interesting balance this strikes? You’ll be a perfect balance of lust and sensitivity, as if you came to life off the cover of a harlequin romance novel- but without the Fabio hair. So… can I have your number?
Duo+: Venus and Neptune in your 7th House of relationships are more than just the most romantic set-up you can possibly imagine- they’re also one of the most energy-efficient ways to lower your heating bill this month. With the added bonus of Uranus in your 8th House, inciting you to mix up your usual routine, there won’t really be anywhere else you’d rather be than cozied up with each other. This is really fortunate if you are both on vacation, or if you both happen to be trust fund babies- but if you’re not, it could be really hard to drag yourself up to get to your jobs and do your shopping and all that other stuff that your help will do for you when you can afford it. As appealing as it sounds, you really don’t want to spend ALL your time in bed- I mean, if you do, what do you have to look forward to at the end of a long day? Besides, your other commitments need you too. Take care of everything on your plate in a timely manner so that by the time your holiday break comes along, it’ll have that delicious feeling of finally tearing into a gift that you’ve been waiting to open for weeks. Hot Spots: 3rd, 8th, 16th, 25th, 30th
Solo: With Venus entering your 11th House of friends on the 8th, and joining Neptune there, this month you could see the induction into your crowd of somebody who’s actually pretty easy on the eyes. Not that the friends you have now aren’t attractive, per se, but they’re all just… you know. You’re used to them. You’ve seen them being so disgusting that in your eyes they’ll never come back around to potentially dateable. Before you call dibs on this new person and start pursuing them with the strength of a thousand lemmings running towards the cliff, make sure you get to know them a little bit and determine for certain that they’re really available to you. It is very embarrassing to build up a friendly but superficial rapport with someone for a long time and then finally make your move, only to have them awkwardly and ambiguously tell you that it really isn’t a good idea, only for you to keep pushing back, and then months later find out that they don’t actually like your gender. That shouldn’t happen to you. But by all means, don’t alienate yourself from them- you never know who they know, and even if they don’t think you’re their cup of tea, they might know someone else who’s just perfect.
Duo+: Pluto has just joined Jupiter in your 10th House of the public eye, and you might notice a significant shift in the levels of interest in your status. Whatever dynamics you’re experiencing between you two, you should be aware that if you’re trying to keep it a secret, it’s not working. People are just like Santa Claus this month- they see you when you’re sleeping. They know when you’re awake. They can tell if you’re getting more serious. They can tell if you’ve been fighting. You’re subconsciously wearing a lot of your passions and emotions on your sleeve this month, which can open you up to a lot of outside meddling and input from people that you don’t really want to hear. Be mindful of what you’re doing and saying outside the privacy of your own space, and take a keener interest than you normally have in how to keep yourself well protected from unfounded attacks. If someone does say something to you that’s out of line, and tries to defend themselves with, “Well, I mean, it’s totally obvious,” simply tell them that while they might be right, it’s your and your partner’s prerogative and yours alone to take care of it, and that they have their own problems to deal with. Then, if there’s something to take care of, go to it. If not, feel free to show the world as much as you see fit.Hot Spots: 8th, 16th, 20th, 25th
Taurus Apr 20-May 20
Solo: You should be feeling good this month- Venus, your ruling planet, enters your 10th House on the 8th, which doubles your powers of attraction. Whether or not you’re actively trying to impress anybody right now, chances are you will be, in more ways than you even realize, and more people too. If you are trying to impress somebody, Ceres in your 5th House of pleasure has you feeling extremely tender towards them, trying to win their heart by taking care of them, which is fine- as long as you can be sure that they’re a) seeing your true intentions behind the attention and b) not just in it for the attention. The point is to be attracted to you, not just what they think you can do for them! Fortunately, Saturn is there too, and will help you from being too taken in by any of that sort of bad behavior. Saturn will be going retrograde, also in your 5th House, on New Year’s Eve, giving you a chance to reevaluate and reconsider some of the criteria you’ve set down for what you want in a lover. So as you’re making your New Year’s resolutions, review the past year and make note of who worked for you, who didn’t, and why and modify accordingly.
Duo+: Chances are you’ll be able to open up a good conversation this month about something that you’ve always wanted to try but were too afraid to ask, and the odds of actually doing it are pretty good. But Taurus is the most fixed and the most stubborn of all the signs, and you would never just rush into something without knowing what it was really all about. By all means have the conversation and bring your hidden desire out in the open so that you both know it’s there. Now your task is to research it and learn about it. If the thing you want to try out is something that your partner is amenable to as well, both of you should go on an independent quest to find out as much as you can about it. But don’t just stop at a basic level- if you read a book, scan that book’s bibliography and find another book, and another, and do the same thing after you’ve read those. Don’t just look for how-to guides- try fiction dealing with the same subject as well, and look for historical references too. The more you learn, the more you can determine the source of the appeal, and find more creative ways to integrate it into what you already do. When you’re done, pool your research. I’m pretty sure you’ll have a lot to talk about. Hot Spots: 1st, 10th, 18th, 27th
Gemini May 21-Jun 20
Solo: You’re feeling a little sensitive this month, and despite your efforts to keep yourself safeguarded, you might feel like there’s an onslaught of unexpected attacks coming at you from all directions. Don’t let it get you down too bad- Gemini is one of the most anxious of all the signs, and if you were to let every little thing affect you, you’d never leave the house- or the sanitized climate-controlled pod, like Julianne Moore in Safe. Believe it or not, there is a way to modulate your sensitivity so that it’s actually kind of sweet and fetching, and not conspiracy-theorist paranoid. (Although I know for a fact there are some people who find conspiracy-theorist paranoid attractive, I can assure you that they’re not anyone you’d really want to be with. Trust me.) If you set yourself a little barometer of what you will tolerate, with “this is actually kind of funny” because the lowest marker and “has crossed a serious line” as the highest marker, you’ll be less high-strung and able to put what you perceive as insults in perspective with the situation. You never know- maybe the person talking to you isn’t a native English speaker, and in their country what they said is considered a compliment. (It could happen, especially with Venus going into your 9th House.) Context is everything, Gemini- stay a while and check out the context.
Duo+: Your 8th House is super-full for the better part of the month, which makes everything seem a little bit darker, a little bit edgier, and a little bit esoteric, if I may use that word. While Gemini’s are not known for being the most spiritual beings in the world (you’ve never met a life path you couldn’t make fun of), a foray into the world beyond ours might actually do more good than harm, as it will calm you down a bit and curtail your short-sightedness, connecting you to something beyond what’s right in front of you. Mercury, Gemini’s winged-footed ruler, was in Greek and Roman mythology the only god who had the power to cross worlds- he could travel to earth, Olympus the Heavens, and to the Underworld and remain totally unscathed. No other god could do that. Similarly, the Gemini, as tongue-in-cheek as you can be, can gain a lot from integrating their sex life with some meditative techniques. There are entire libraries of books written on the subject of spiritual sex, which I urge you to investigate. They could offer some fascinating insights on how to clear your mind and become more self-aware- and all while spending time with your partner and without having to pull an extra hour out of your crazy day to sit down and meditate. Talk about effective multi-tasking.
Hot Spots: 3rd, 8th, 11th, 20th, 25th
Cancer Jun 21-Jul 22
Solo: Venus is really on your side this month- she begins in your 7th House of relationships with Jupiter, which promises tons of potential for a very special someone (or more than one very special someone) to come your way. But don’t be impatient if it doesn’t happen right away- Venus goes into your 8th House on the 8th, joining Neptune there, which adds a darker slant to her normally light and happy cast. It’s all still good, though, as it gives your own mojo a shade of edgy intensity that your sweet and loving nature doesn’t always reveal- and reciprocally, Venus and Neptune can lighten up and make approachable the dark matter that normally scares us. For the best illustration of that dynamic, think of a sexy vampire- despite knowing full well that she could drain you of all your blood, you still want to get close. This will serve you well in attracting someone who can appreciate the full scope of your complex and interesting sexuality. So sharpen your teeth.
Duo+: Pluto, Lord of Underworlds both public and private sector, has just come into your 7th House of Relationships, which isn’t necessarily as bad of a thing as it sounds. In astrology, as in most occult sciences, anything having to do with death is really just a metaphor for a cycle of transformation- more of a symbolic death of the old way you used to be and growth into a new, more enlightened way. That’s exactly what you can look forward to in your relationship for the next little while, which could be just the thing you need, as Cancers tend to get a little too comfortable in the situations they’re in and resist change, even if they’re bad. The major changes won’t materialize right away, but this month you will see a lot of little adjustments being made. As Mercury enters your 7th House and stays there for the entire month, you’ll find that your communication is key. If you’re able to be open and straightforward with each other instead of talking in circles or speaking in euphemisms, you’re sure to cut a lot faster to the good parts. And as the Sun and Mars enter the 7th House in the same week towards the end of the month, you’ll find yourself feeling unusually passionate towards each other. Maybe it’s all that mistletoe everywhere or something. Either way, it’s an optimistic new start to the year ahead, so embrace the changes and see where they take you.
Hot Spots: 1st, 5th, 14th, 22nd, 28th
Leo Jul 23-Aug 22
Solo: Anyone who is lucky enough to team up with you this month is going to think they died and went to Ho Heaven. Your 5th House of sex is charged up for most of the month with the Sun, Mercury and Mars- all of which are quite virile energies. You might even surprise yourself by how much energy you actually have, and you should save it up for someone who can match it. And interestingly enough, Venus and Neptune will be in your 7th House of relationships, which is the equivalent of hanging up gauzy pink and red curtains and Christmas lights and putting red light bulbs in all the lamps- and are more feminine energies. You see what an interesting balance this strikes? You’ll be a perfect balance of lust and sensitivity, as if you came to life off the cover of a harlequin romance novel- but without the Fabio hair. So… can I have your number?
Duo+: Venus and Neptune in your 7th House of relationships are more than just the most romantic set-up you can possibly imagine- they’re also one of the most energy-efficient ways to lower your heating bill this month. With the added bonus of Uranus in your 8th House, inciting you to mix up your usual routine, there won’t really be anywhere else you’d rather be than cozied up with each other. This is really fortunate if you are both on vacation, or if you both happen to be trust fund babies- but if you’re not, it could be really hard to drag yourself up to get to your jobs and do your shopping and all that other stuff that your help will do for you when you can afford it. As appealing as it sounds, you really don’t want to spend ALL your time in bed- I mean, if you do, what do you have to look forward to at the end of a long day? Besides, your other commitments need you too. Take care of everything on your plate in a timely manner so that by the time your holiday break comes along, it’ll have that delicious feeling of finally tearing into a gift that you’ve been waiting to open for weeks. Hot Spots: 3rd, 8th, 16th, 25th, 30th
Virgo Aug 23-Sep 22
Solo: You’re going to have a fun month, if not an exhausting one- your 5th House of sex is completely full up, so full up that while I was drawing the chart I actually had to draw planets outside the chart wheel. As more and more planets advance into your 5th House, you might find yourself presented with several exciting options, all of whom are very different. It’s a good exercise for you to be involved but not too serious with more than one person, because it’ll help to dismantle your unflinching sense of standards. Think about it- how can you hold three delightfully different people, each with their own separate identities, to the same rigid criteria? Each of them has something to offer you that the others can’t, something you can appreciate more about them because it’s unique. As long as you maintain a good safe distance so as not to get too enmeshed right away, this type of arrangement could really bring you out- so go for it.
Duo+: With Uranus in your 7th House of relationships, something wild and crazy has been literally around every corner. You pose a hypothetical new situation and suddenly minutes later you’re doing it. You find yourself doing insane things like having quickies in bar bathrooms, in taxicabs, but all very quietly and well-disguised to look like some other situation, like some kind of sex spy. You never thought you would feel this way, but suddenly you’re totally comfortable not wearing any underwear, outside, in public. While it’s not typical Virgo behavior, by any stretch of the imagination, it’s excellent to see yourself feeling less inhibited and bound to social conventions of how you should be expressing yourself sexually. The upside is that Virgo is always aware and conscientious, so as crazy as you may get, you’ll never do anything that will result in anybody getting hurt- yourself included. So in that case, keep doing what you’re doing- but don’t do anything in St. Patrick’s Cathedral. I hear they don’t have a very good sense of humor about that.
Hot Spots: 5th, 10th, 18th, 22nd, 27th
Libra Sep 23-Oct 22
Solo: You may not realize it right away, or quite so strongly, but you’re in a phase of extraordinary change. Although you’re not quite at the end, I’m going to give you a spoiler- the end of the journey has something to do with realizing that having a partner will not seal your happiness. So much of your essential energy is devoted to finding your ultimate soul mate that you neglect to listen to yourself- that is, your core self, your higher mind that really does know what is best for you, even if your lower mind doesn’t always agree. I’m not saying that a “one true love” isn’t a noble thing to desire, nor am I saying that you SHOULDN’T have a partner if you want one. I’m just trying to suggest that it doesn’t quite have the psycho spiritual weight that it does in your imagination, and that when you do meet that person, you shouldn’t be disappointed if it doesn’t have all the incidental choirs of angels and flowers blowing in the wind effects. Plus, you’ll be hurt a lot less frequently if you don’t treat every new person like “the one.” So remember that as you’re looking this month- and trust yourself to do the right thing, whatever happens.
Duo+: This month could be a great opportunity to make your relationship more of exactly that- with the emphasis on relation, as in the act of relating to one another. The Sun, Mars, and Mercury are in your 3rd House of communication at the beginning of the month, which will afford you time to really have it out- maybe even argue a little. Okay, wait a minute- here’s a paper bag to breathe into. You okay? Want some water or something? No? Good. Newsflash, gentle-spirited Libra- arguing is not always bad. Sometimes it just has to be done, and in fact, a lot of relationship experts say that it’s more healthy to argue from time to time than not. When you resolve an argument, like really, successfully solve an argument, you’ve both grown as individuals because you compromised a little and each modified your actions to accommodate your partner. That’s how relationships move forward. So don’t be alarmed by an argument- as long as you keep your cool and express yourself like a grown-up, only good can come of it. Plus, there is this thing that can happen after an argument called make-up sex- and no, it doesn’t have to do with putting on bronzer. But it can, if you want.
Hot Spots: 3rd, 8th, 12th, 20th, 30th
Scorpio Oct 23-Nov 21
Solo: You’re already known as kind of the wild one in your crowd, and as such, you may sometimes get the feeling that your friends are keeping an eye on you, or at least talking about you when you’re not around. It’s not just Scorpio paranoia- it’s true, they really are. They’re not saying anything really malicious, but it can’t be denied- they don’t get you, and it’s intimidating, so they try to play it off with gentle razzing. They look at all the fun you’re having and they’re jealous it’s not happening to them, so they say backhanded things like, “Oh that could only happen to [Insert Your Name Here].” And of course, they only do this when you’re not around, because they know that if they were to gently razz you to your face, even if they thought you knew they were kidding, they’d wake up with a horse head next to them on the pillow. Although you might feel a little sensitive to their critique (they are your friends, after all), you shouldn’t have to modify what feels natural to you so that someone else can feel better about themselves. Unless one of those friends is one of your sexual partners, it shouldn’t be their business, whatsoever. To stop them from using you as ignition for brunch, don’t go telling them everything you do. If you try that but you’re still hurting for someone to guess what kind of fruit you actually put in your vagina two days ago, get your ass to one of the many websites that exist solely for the purpose of anonymously confessing scandalous things. You might be a sick freak, but you don’t deserve to be judged.
Duo+: Pluto has just entered your 3rd House of communication, bringing all the deeper issues you try to keep buried way far down right up to the surface, so for the next few months you might see your relationship turn into a Strindberg play right before your very eyes. You’re no stranger to extreme depth of feeling, but it’s not often that you reveal everything churning around in your gut, especially not to your partner. It’s more out of love than out of cunning, simply because you don’t want to hurt them with your intensity- especially if they’re a Libra or a Pisces. This month, though, give them a little credit- you kind of have no choice. The comedian Jim Gaffigan has a joke about how there is no dignified way to buy toilet paper, because everybody knows exactly what you’re going to do with it, and there’s no more apt way to describe your situation. The further along your relationship gets, you’re going to have to deal with most of this dark matter anyway, so you might as well open up the conversation now while the stars are making it available to you. And like I said, give your partner a little credit- they may surprise you with their receptivity.
Hot Spots: 5th, 10th, 14th, 22nd
Sagittarius Nov 22-Dec 21
Solo: The Sun, Mars, and Mercury start the month out in your 1st House of self, which only lights a stronger fire under your ass. Throughout the month they’ll all be making a square to Uranus in your 4th House, challenging your instincts and urging you to make a change. Sagittarius is always trying to elevate and improve themselves, but they also tend to have short-term memory, forgetting the next level of consciousness they gained as soon as it’s achieved, almost like what happens in reincarnation except all in one life. Your sex life is certainly no exception to this rule, as you’re one of those people who makes declarations of undying love to your interests, and then just as you’ve snagged them, decide that maybe you shouldn’t be so exclusive because you’re not on the same vibration. Jimi Hendrix was apparently the same way, and lo and behold- he was a fellow Sagittarius. (I have especially keen knowledge of this phenomenon because I’ve been victim to it many times by various Sagittarians. Yet I keep coming back. What can I say- you mofos are like kryptonite.) This has worked for a long time, and it’s definitely helped you to maintain your independent spirit. But do you really want to do that at the expense of someone else? This month, you might learn that the hard way, when someone really tugs at that heart of yours long after you thought you were done. If you think you’ve learned your lesson, the only way to see a change is to let it stick.
Duo+: Venus and Neptune are in your 3rd House of communication this month, which turn every word that comes out of your mouth into pure silken poetry. You’re not usually this romantic, but you might want to run with it, because with your mystical mind, an effort at romance could produce something mind-blowingly gorgeous. Take a stab at writing your partner some poetry and see what you can come up with. If you don’t believe me, re-read the work of Rumi or Khalil Gibran, or the Song of Songs in the Bible. It is possible for the spiritual and the erotic to merge in a way that’s neither blasphemous nor irreverent, but really quite beautiful. You might surprise yourself with how fluently you can express the more romantic side of you when it’s part and parcel of reaching higher consciousness. For their part, your partner will be in awe of you- no doubt they’ve never read something that beautiful about them, for them, and they might even be inspired to duly reciprocate.
Hot Spots: 8th, 12th, 16th, 25th
Capricorn Dec 22-Jan 19
Solo: Pluto has just entered your 1st House of self, and it’s going to stay there for a long, long time. Get ready for some major upheavals in who you thought you are and who you’re about to become. Many, many planetary transits this month are taking place in your 1st House as well, which will immediately start to give you some clues as to what might be changing. As the month progresses, you’ll notice that your expression of your desires will be a lot clearer and more direct- even your expression of the more unconventional desires you have. While it isn’t uncommon for a Capricorn to have some interests that aren’t particularly what you’d expect of them, it’s less common to hear them speak these interests aloud, as they’re very good at making you believe that they have traditionally upstanding values. But if you really believe that is what you want, there is no reason why you shouldn’t say so. The transits through your 1st House will all make easy trines to Saturn, your ruling planet, which gives substance and backing to your need to speak your mind. It’s about time that you shake loose of what others want to see and start showing who you want them to see. So stick that onto your already mammoth list of New Year’s resolutions.
Duo+: To say that any zodiac sign is materialistic always seems to bring bad connotations, but I don’t think that it is necessarily as much of a bad word when talking about a Capricorn. For example, a Taurus is materialistic in the sense that they value really good quality items. A Libra is materialistic in that they love things that are pretty and shiny. A Capricorn, however, is materialistic in the sense that they appreciate the things they have because they’ve EARNED them. One of the hardest-working and most ambitious signs, having certain things is only a by-product of the satisfaction Capricorn feels when they’ve achieved a goal. It’s safe to say that you’ve probably been busting your ass all year and going above and beyond in your work, which may or may not have affected your sex life. With the holidays coming up and all, you’ve got a perfect opportunity to buy your partner a really fantastic gift, to show them that you acknowledge how patient they’ve been with your workaholism. Venus and Neptune will be in your 2nd House of money, material items and values; which turns a lot of your focus for gift-buying towards the beautiful above all else. This could include really delicate lingerie you’d love to see your partner wear, or a really nice musky-scented cologne, or something else simply gorgeous that I’m not thinking of. (Admittedly, I’m the worst at gift ideas, so aside from what I gave you, you’re on your own.) And like you, your partner will certainly appreciate the gift because they too understand and admire how hard you work to do nice things for the two of you. Who knows- maybe they’ve gotten you some fantastic gift as well that you can enjoy together.
Hot Spots: 1st, 10th, 13th, 18th, 27th
Aquarius Jan 20-Feb 18
Solo: As Venus enters your 1st House of self, you might feel the sudden urge to pretty yourself up a little. Get a Libra friend to help you- they’re really good with things like matching color to skin tone and tasteful make-up. (Ask a Leo friend for help with your hair- but if you want to look like a ho, let them do your make-up too.) Your mood at the beginning of the month is pretty festive, with a full 11th House of friends. No doubt you’ll have a lot of holiday parties to attend, where you’re bound to have a great time- maybe greater than you thought you could. Enjoy yourself with anyone new and stimulating that you meet this month, but be sure to keep your head about you and maintain your usual level of detachment, no matter how much you like them. It is a holiday, and people are going on vacations, so you might be separated from them for a little while. The last thing they need is somebody getting clingy over a pretty iconic American tradition- but then again, who are you to ever care about a pretty iconic American tradition? Even if Christmas day does find you eating Chinese food and going to see the new Star Trek movie, you’ve still got to have respect for other peoples’ boundaries. Most likely they’re thinking of you too, and if you back off just a little, you may find yourself being the one pursued. Just the way it should be.
Duo+: With Saturn and Ceres in your 8th House and a massively full-up 12th House, you could find yourself having an attack of the holiday blues. In a way this is no different than every year, since you decry convention and all this hoopla over something you see as devoid of religious sanctity and bastardized for capitalist gain. Yeah, okay- no offense, but your partner is probably agreeing with you simply because they’ve heard it so many times. I think that most Aquarians use political diatribes as a means of circumventing talking about how they really feel, which is fine if you’re preaching to the choir on your online debate forums or at your Young Communist Brigade meeting, but can actually be a little alienating in your romantic relationships. Even if your partner really does agree, they’re likely to get worn down after a little while. What they’d really be more interested in hearing isn’t just what’s on your mind but what’s in your heart. You’ll ease a lot of your tension by just letting it all out, and if there’s anything your partner can do to help make it easier, you know they will. So don’t be afraid of opening yourself to them- there’s very you can say that’ll scare them that bad.
Hot Spots: 3rd, 8th, 12th, 15th, 30th
Pisces Feb 19-Mar 20
Solo: You’ve been doing well in terms of curing your shyness over the past few months, Pisces, so well that you may have already earned yourself a reputation as a loose cannon. But that’s nothing to be embarrassed about, as you would never say anything that could really hurt anybody’s feelings. Besides, there’s something kind of cute about sweet little you using words you’d only hear in Quentin Tarantino movies, sort of like when a little kid says those words- you want to get mad, but you can’t because it was just so funny. In any event, your newfound badass reputation is sure to get you plenty of attention at all your upcoming social obligations. I bet some people who never expected you to be so fresh are probably secretly turned on- and who knows, they just might tell you so. But even so, don’t overdo it- that means no heavy drinking so that you completely lose control of what you’re saying and really end up alienating people, or doing anything too crazy that can really only be perceived as crazy, like taking off your underwear at the office holiday party. You can’t hold your liquor anyway. With just the right amount of freshness, you’ll get exactly what you need- don’t worry about a thing.
Duo+: As Venus joins Neptune in your 12th House, which is your natural house of solitude and the subconscious; this could be a psychic jab to pay more attention to some of the undercurrents in your relationship. You’re already pretty psychic, so no doubt you’ve been following these undercurrents the entire time. But have you been heeding them? As sensitive and flighty as the Pisces may seem, deep down, they are armed with an internal guide that really does know what’s good for them, and will alert them with a powerful intuition. It’s one of your most crucial tasks to learn how to keenly listen to this intuition and do what it says, even if it’s not exactly what you want. If you’re getting any of these flashes where your relationship is concerned, don’t just put them to the side- flesh them the fuck out. If you don’t think it’s anything you can or need to talk to your partner about right away, write about them in your journal, and keep track of how your feelings evolve day to day. It might also help you to pay attention to your dreams, and write those down too, for review in the morning. Dreams are often an excellent way to read into what your internal guide is telling you to do, especially since some schools of thought say that every person in your dream is really just another aspect of yourself. So listen, and pay close attention- even if you think you don’t know what to do, you’ve got the answer. You just have to see it.
Hot Spots: 5th, 14th, 18th, 22nd
Solo: You’re going to have a fun month, if not an exhausting one- your 5th House of sex is completely full up, so full up that while I was drawing the chart I actually had to draw planets outside the chart wheel. As more and more planets advance into your 5th House, you might find yourself presented with several exciting options, all of whom are very different. It’s a good exercise for you to be involved but not too serious with more than one person, because it’ll help to dismantle your unflinching sense of standards. Think about it- how can you hold three delightfully different people, each with their own separate identities, to the same rigid criteria? Each of them has something to offer you that the others can’t, something you can appreciate more about them because it’s unique. As long as you maintain a good safe distance so as not to get too enmeshed right away, this type of arrangement could really bring you out- so go for it.
Duo+: With Uranus in your 7th House of relationships, something wild and crazy has been literally around every corner. You pose a hypothetical new situation and suddenly minutes later you’re doing it. You find yourself doing insane things like having quickies in bar bathrooms, in taxicabs, but all very quietly and well-disguised to look like some other situation, like some kind of sex spy. You never thought you would feel this way, but suddenly you’re totally comfortable not wearing any underwear, outside, in public. While it’s not typical Virgo behavior, by any stretch of the imagination, it’s excellent to see yourself feeling less inhibited and bound to social conventions of how you should be expressing yourself sexually. The upside is that Virgo is always aware and conscientious, so as crazy as you may get, you’ll never do anything that will result in anybody getting hurt- yourself included. So in that case, keep doing what you’re doing- but don’t do anything in St. Patrick’s Cathedral. I hear they don’t have a very good sense of humor about that.
Hot Spots: 5th, 10th, 18th, 22nd, 27th
Libra Sep 23-Oct 22
Solo: You may not realize it right away, or quite so strongly, but you’re in a phase of extraordinary change. Although you’re not quite at the end, I’m going to give you a spoiler- the end of the journey has something to do with realizing that having a partner will not seal your happiness. So much of your essential energy is devoted to finding your ultimate soul mate that you neglect to listen to yourself- that is, your core self, your higher mind that really does know what is best for you, even if your lower mind doesn’t always agree. I’m not saying that a “one true love” isn’t a noble thing to desire, nor am I saying that you SHOULDN’T have a partner if you want one. I’m just trying to suggest that it doesn’t quite have the psycho spiritual weight that it does in your imagination, and that when you do meet that person, you shouldn’t be disappointed if it doesn’t have all the incidental choirs of angels and flowers blowing in the wind effects. Plus, you’ll be hurt a lot less frequently if you don’t treat every new person like “the one.” So remember that as you’re looking this month- and trust yourself to do the right thing, whatever happens.
Duo+: This month could be a great opportunity to make your relationship more of exactly that- with the emphasis on relation, as in the act of relating to one another. The Sun, Mars, and Mercury are in your 3rd House of communication at the beginning of the month, which will afford you time to really have it out- maybe even argue a little. Okay, wait a minute- here’s a paper bag to breathe into. You okay? Want some water or something? No? Good. Newsflash, gentle-spirited Libra- arguing is not always bad. Sometimes it just has to be done, and in fact, a lot of relationship experts say that it’s more healthy to argue from time to time than not. When you resolve an argument, like really, successfully solve an argument, you’ve both grown as individuals because you compromised a little and each modified your actions to accommodate your partner. That’s how relationships move forward. So don’t be alarmed by an argument- as long as you keep your cool and express yourself like a grown-up, only good can come of it. Plus, there is this thing that can happen after an argument called make-up sex- and no, it doesn’t have to do with putting on bronzer. But it can, if you want.
Hot Spots: 3rd, 8th, 12th, 20th, 30th
Scorpio Oct 23-Nov 21
Solo: You’re already known as kind of the wild one in your crowd, and as such, you may sometimes get the feeling that your friends are keeping an eye on you, or at least talking about you when you’re not around. It’s not just Scorpio paranoia- it’s true, they really are. They’re not saying anything really malicious, but it can’t be denied- they don’t get you, and it’s intimidating, so they try to play it off with gentle razzing. They look at all the fun you’re having and they’re jealous it’s not happening to them, so they say backhanded things like, “Oh that could only happen to [Insert Your Name Here].” And of course, they only do this when you’re not around, because they know that if they were to gently razz you to your face, even if they thought you knew they were kidding, they’d wake up with a horse head next to them on the pillow. Although you might feel a little sensitive to their critique (they are your friends, after all), you shouldn’t have to modify what feels natural to you so that someone else can feel better about themselves. Unless one of those friends is one of your sexual partners, it shouldn’t be their business, whatsoever. To stop them from using you as ignition for brunch, don’t go telling them everything you do. If you try that but you’re still hurting for someone to guess what kind of fruit you actually put in your vagina two days ago, get your ass to one of the many websites that exist solely for the purpose of anonymously confessing scandalous things. You might be a sick freak, but you don’t deserve to be judged.
Duo+: Pluto has just entered your 3rd House of communication, bringing all the deeper issues you try to keep buried way far down right up to the surface, so for the next few months you might see your relationship turn into a Strindberg play right before your very eyes. You’re no stranger to extreme depth of feeling, but it’s not often that you reveal everything churning around in your gut, especially not to your partner. It’s more out of love than out of cunning, simply because you don’t want to hurt them with your intensity- especially if they’re a Libra or a Pisces. This month, though, give them a little credit- you kind of have no choice. The comedian Jim Gaffigan has a joke about how there is no dignified way to buy toilet paper, because everybody knows exactly what you’re going to do with it, and there’s no more apt way to describe your situation. The further along your relationship gets, you’re going to have to deal with most of this dark matter anyway, so you might as well open up the conversation now while the stars are making it available to you. And like I said, give your partner a little credit- they may surprise you with their receptivity.
Hot Spots: 5th, 10th, 14th, 22nd
Sagittarius Nov 22-Dec 21
Solo: The Sun, Mars, and Mercury start the month out in your 1st House of self, which only lights a stronger fire under your ass. Throughout the month they’ll all be making a square to Uranus in your 4th House, challenging your instincts and urging you to make a change. Sagittarius is always trying to elevate and improve themselves, but they also tend to have short-term memory, forgetting the next level of consciousness they gained as soon as it’s achieved, almost like what happens in reincarnation except all in one life. Your sex life is certainly no exception to this rule, as you’re one of those people who makes declarations of undying love to your interests, and then just as you’ve snagged them, decide that maybe you shouldn’t be so exclusive because you’re not on the same vibration. Jimi Hendrix was apparently the same way, and lo and behold- he was a fellow Sagittarius. (I have especially keen knowledge of this phenomenon because I’ve been victim to it many times by various Sagittarians. Yet I keep coming back. What can I say- you mofos are like kryptonite.) This has worked for a long time, and it’s definitely helped you to maintain your independent spirit. But do you really want to do that at the expense of someone else? This month, you might learn that the hard way, when someone really tugs at that heart of yours long after you thought you were done. If you think you’ve learned your lesson, the only way to see a change is to let it stick.
Duo+: Venus and Neptune are in your 3rd House of communication this month, which turn every word that comes out of your mouth into pure silken poetry. You’re not usually this romantic, but you might want to run with it, because with your mystical mind, an effort at romance could produce something mind-blowingly gorgeous. Take a stab at writing your partner some poetry and see what you can come up with. If you don’t believe me, re-read the work of Rumi or Khalil Gibran, or the Song of Songs in the Bible. It is possible for the spiritual and the erotic to merge in a way that’s neither blasphemous nor irreverent, but really quite beautiful. You might surprise yourself with how fluently you can express the more romantic side of you when it’s part and parcel of reaching higher consciousness. For their part, your partner will be in awe of you- no doubt they’ve never read something that beautiful about them, for them, and they might even be inspired to duly reciprocate.
Hot Spots: 8th, 12th, 16th, 25th
Capricorn Dec 22-Jan 19
Solo: Pluto has just entered your 1st House of self, and it’s going to stay there for a long, long time. Get ready for some major upheavals in who you thought you are and who you’re about to become. Many, many planetary transits this month are taking place in your 1st House as well, which will immediately start to give you some clues as to what might be changing. As the month progresses, you’ll notice that your expression of your desires will be a lot clearer and more direct- even your expression of the more unconventional desires you have. While it isn’t uncommon for a Capricorn to have some interests that aren’t particularly what you’d expect of them, it’s less common to hear them speak these interests aloud, as they’re very good at making you believe that they have traditionally upstanding values. But if you really believe that is what you want, there is no reason why you shouldn’t say so. The transits through your 1st House will all make easy trines to Saturn, your ruling planet, which gives substance and backing to your need to speak your mind. It’s about time that you shake loose of what others want to see and start showing who you want them to see. So stick that onto your already mammoth list of New Year’s resolutions.
Duo+: To say that any zodiac sign is materialistic always seems to bring bad connotations, but I don’t think that it is necessarily as much of a bad word when talking about a Capricorn. For example, a Taurus is materialistic in the sense that they value really good quality items. A Libra is materialistic in that they love things that are pretty and shiny. A Capricorn, however, is materialistic in the sense that they appreciate the things they have because they’ve EARNED them. One of the hardest-working and most ambitious signs, having certain things is only a by-product of the satisfaction Capricorn feels when they’ve achieved a goal. It’s safe to say that you’ve probably been busting your ass all year and going above and beyond in your work, which may or may not have affected your sex life. With the holidays coming up and all, you’ve got a perfect opportunity to buy your partner a really fantastic gift, to show them that you acknowledge how patient they’ve been with your workaholism. Venus and Neptune will be in your 2nd House of money, material items and values; which turns a lot of your focus for gift-buying towards the beautiful above all else. This could include really delicate lingerie you’d love to see your partner wear, or a really nice musky-scented cologne, or something else simply gorgeous that I’m not thinking of. (Admittedly, I’m the worst at gift ideas, so aside from what I gave you, you’re on your own.) And like you, your partner will certainly appreciate the gift because they too understand and admire how hard you work to do nice things for the two of you. Who knows- maybe they’ve gotten you some fantastic gift as well that you can enjoy together.
Hot Spots: 1st, 10th, 13th, 18th, 27th
Aquarius Jan 20-Feb 18
Solo: As Venus enters your 1st House of self, you might feel the sudden urge to pretty yourself up a little. Get a Libra friend to help you- they’re really good with things like matching color to skin tone and tasteful make-up. (Ask a Leo friend for help with your hair- but if you want to look like a ho, let them do your make-up too.) Your mood at the beginning of the month is pretty festive, with a full 11th House of friends. No doubt you’ll have a lot of holiday parties to attend, where you’re bound to have a great time- maybe greater than you thought you could. Enjoy yourself with anyone new and stimulating that you meet this month, but be sure to keep your head about you and maintain your usual level of detachment, no matter how much you like them. It is a holiday, and people are going on vacations, so you might be separated from them for a little while. The last thing they need is somebody getting clingy over a pretty iconic American tradition- but then again, who are you to ever care about a pretty iconic American tradition? Even if Christmas day does find you eating Chinese food and going to see the new Star Trek movie, you’ve still got to have respect for other peoples’ boundaries. Most likely they’re thinking of you too, and if you back off just a little, you may find yourself being the one pursued. Just the way it should be.
Duo+: With Saturn and Ceres in your 8th House and a massively full-up 12th House, you could find yourself having an attack of the holiday blues. In a way this is no different than every year, since you decry convention and all this hoopla over something you see as devoid of religious sanctity and bastardized for capitalist gain. Yeah, okay- no offense, but your partner is probably agreeing with you simply because they’ve heard it so many times. I think that most Aquarians use political diatribes as a means of circumventing talking about how they really feel, which is fine if you’re preaching to the choir on your online debate forums or at your Young Communist Brigade meeting, but can actually be a little alienating in your romantic relationships. Even if your partner really does agree, they’re likely to get worn down after a little while. What they’d really be more interested in hearing isn’t just what’s on your mind but what’s in your heart. You’ll ease a lot of your tension by just letting it all out, and if there’s anything your partner can do to help make it easier, you know they will. So don’t be afraid of opening yourself to them- there’s very you can say that’ll scare them that bad.
Hot Spots: 3rd, 8th, 12th, 15th, 30th
Pisces Feb 19-Mar 20
Solo: You’ve been doing well in terms of curing your shyness over the past few months, Pisces, so well that you may have already earned yourself a reputation as a loose cannon. But that’s nothing to be embarrassed about, as you would never say anything that could really hurt anybody’s feelings. Besides, there’s something kind of cute about sweet little you using words you’d only hear in Quentin Tarantino movies, sort of like when a little kid says those words- you want to get mad, but you can’t because it was just so funny. In any event, your newfound badass reputation is sure to get you plenty of attention at all your upcoming social obligations. I bet some people who never expected you to be so fresh are probably secretly turned on- and who knows, they just might tell you so. But even so, don’t overdo it- that means no heavy drinking so that you completely lose control of what you’re saying and really end up alienating people, or doing anything too crazy that can really only be perceived as crazy, like taking off your underwear at the office holiday party. You can’t hold your liquor anyway. With just the right amount of freshness, you’ll get exactly what you need- don’t worry about a thing.
Duo+: As Venus joins Neptune in your 12th House, which is your natural house of solitude and the subconscious; this could be a psychic jab to pay more attention to some of the undercurrents in your relationship. You’re already pretty psychic, so no doubt you’ve been following these undercurrents the entire time. But have you been heeding them? As sensitive and flighty as the Pisces may seem, deep down, they are armed with an internal guide that really does know what’s good for them, and will alert them with a powerful intuition. It’s one of your most crucial tasks to learn how to keenly listen to this intuition and do what it says, even if it’s not exactly what you want. If you’re getting any of these flashes where your relationship is concerned, don’t just put them to the side- flesh them the fuck out. If you don’t think it’s anything you can or need to talk to your partner about right away, write about them in your journal, and keep track of how your feelings evolve day to day. It might also help you to pay attention to your dreams, and write those down too, for review in the morning. Dreams are often an excellent way to read into what your internal guide is telling you to do, especially since some schools of thought say that every person in your dream is really just another aspect of yourself. So listen, and pay close attention- even if you think you don’t know what to do, you’ve got the answer. You just have to see it.
Hot Spots: 5th, 14th, 18th, 22nd
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